Danny Gokey performed a hometown concert in Milwaukee – AND FORGOT ALL OF THE WORDS TO BILLIE JEAN. He paced around on stage and just grunted bits of words while the background singers sang the chorus over and over. Then he started talking about how he was “from the church” and the whole performance got all SISTER ACT faster than Whoopie Goldberg could say “you in danger, girl.” The entire thing was embarrassing to say the least.
Hey Gokey, I talked to God, and even he said it’s time for you to go. Peace out. You suck.
This comment from We Hate Idol reader GNN was so funny and spot on, we had to dedicate an entire post to it:
Adam Lambert looks disgusting and he’s completely plastic. He’s not being himself up there. If he was, he’d be dressing up like a woman and he’d have purple hair and his tongue down a random dude’s throat.
You may think he’s good now, but that’s only because you listen to him once a week for three minutes. Imagine buying his record and hearing that ear piercing squeal he does in the middle of every song for 12-14 songs in a row. That’s down right torturous and I wouldn’t wish that kind of pain on anyone.
And yes, we all know Adam Lambert was only put in the bottom 2 this week to scare his fans into voting more for him. It’s just another disgusting, despicable example of why WE HATE IDOL.
We’ve all seen the annoying heart shapes that Danny Gokey makes with his hands while Ryan Seacrest reads his voting numbers every week:
And of course we all know Danny Gokey owns more eyeglasses than any “straight man” on the face of the Earth (in fact, it has been scientifically proven that Gokey has more glasses than all of the nursing homes in the United States combined).
So is it just a crazy coincidence that Lenscrafters recently rolled out a new ad campaign with people making heart shapes with their hands?
There are only three possibilities, all of which make Gokey even more of a loser than we originally thought:
1) Danny Gokey has some secret deal with Lenscrafters, and is getting free eyewear for giving the company shout-outs on each episode.
2) Danny Gokey is giving a shout-out to his late wife, who died of a heart disease. If this is the case, Danny is a douchebag for pimping out the memory of his dead wife for sympathy votes.
or 3) Danny Gokey is JUST A HUGE TOOL, who loves to make fancy heart shapes with his hands like he’s a 7 year old girl.
We understand you all have your favorite – and least favorite – Idol contestants (we do too). The debates in the comments section are getting heated, and that is fine… but we will not tolerate or condone HATEFUL SPEECH on this website. I have a zero percent tolerance for gay bashing, and all racist/anti-gay comments will be moderated and deleted.
Speak your case for or against your favorites, but do it intelligently and have a sense of humor about it. Idol is the biggest joke on television – so lighten up.
I just posted this over at Pophangover, but figured I should post it over here as well. Anyone who knows me knows I loathe Adam Lambert with the fire of 10,000 suns. That can only mean one thing: he’s definitely going to be this year’s American Idol winner (I hated David Cook equally as passionately last year, and look what happened). Therefore, it is with an incredibly high level of nausea that I present to you this list of ridiculous Adam Lambert items currently for sale on eBay:
One question: does it come with a grease stain from Adam Lambert’s head?
Nothing says “nighty night” like the sight of Adam Lambert’s crotch glowing on your wall.
How about this gorgeous Adam Lambert mousepad? Look how nicely his eyeliner brings out the pink lettering.
I guarantee you’ll never get robbed while carrying this Adam Lambert purse, since it screams “I HAVE NO CLASS AND OWN NOTHING WORTH STEALING.”
Low-end pizza plates, emblazoned with Lambert’s face and fashioned into earrings. I’ll take two!
Danny Gokey. You probably know him as the “chubby glasses wearin’ dork who made it to the Top 12 on American Idol.” But exactly how many pairs of glasses does one person need? We’ve carefully analyzed the footage, and discovered he’s worn at least SIX different pairs on his short stint on Idol so far. What gives? Is he fucking someone at Lenscrafters?
(If we’re missing any, let us know. We’ll keep a running tally and update as necessary.)
Joanna Pacitti, the annoying ex child actress who has already been signed – and dropped – by two major record labels, has officially been disqualified from American Idol. She was replaced with Felicia Barton, after Fox released a statement saying they wanted to “avoid the appearance of impropriety.”
PLEASE. This girl shouldn’t have made it to the top 36 to begin with. She forgot the lyrics THREE TIMES, and she didn’t even have to “sing for her life” last night.
Here’s one of the corny videos she had made before her label dropped her:
And here’s Felicia Barton singing on the street for anyone who will listen:
We’ll bring you more news as it becomes available.
Joanna Pacitti, who auditioned for American Idol in Louisville and made it through to Hollywood, already has a long history in the music business. She was featured on MTV’s show “True Life” as one of three singers trying to break into the music business. She’s been covered by Britney Spears, had her songs featured in movies like Legally Blonde and Nancy Drew, and been dropped by 2 major labels.
Even worse, Joanna was an annoying child actor with a hideously unflattering haircut. She was cast as Orphan Annie in the musical when she was 11, but got fired supposedly because she got bronchitis. Her nasty showmom sued the production company for $50 million, and they settled out of court. This whole ordeal led to a skit and hysterical ridicule by Cheri Oteri on Saturday Night Live, and an interview with Barbara Walters on 20/20. Check out this unintentionally hysterical clip in which Joanna comes across as the most annoying, whiny, spoiled brat on the face of the Earth. Just try not to throw up as she chokes back her tears and says, “I have to remember I’m the real Annie, and the sun will come out tomorrow.” PLEASE.
Many people think this experience should disqualify her from American Idol, which bills itself as a show searching for new talent. Others say the public’s familiarity with her may give her an unfair advantage if she makes it to the public vote. What do you think?