Hey Idol haters,
The audition shows this year are heinously boring. As such, our reviews and recaps will start when the final contestants are announced. We’ll see you back here when all the smoke and BS clears!
-WEHATEIDOL

UPDATE:
Hang in there, guys. The reviews and photocaps will start up again when the FINAL 12 CONTESTANTS ARE ANNOUNCED. On March 2-3, the top 10 girls/guys perform. On March 9-10, the top 8 girls/guys perform. So, reviews will start up on MARCH 16th when the FINAL 12 CONTESTANTS start performing. Reviews will run until the end of May when the winner is announced.

Danny Gokey was, and will always be, a flaming media whore.

While he was on the show, we had our suspicions that he had a secret eyeglasses deal with Lenscrafters. But since getting kicked off the show, he’s been doing interviews telling the media that he WANTS HIS OWN LINE OF GLASSES, and will donate some of the profits to his dead wife’s charity. If that’s not the most ridiculous, disingenuous, delusional thing I’ve ever heard in my life, I don’t know what is.

He also said he wants to MODEL. Try to contain your laughter. If he thinks anyone will pay to photograph his flabby white ass, he’s even more deluded than we thought.

Gokey-branded eyeglasses? That’s about as moronic as it gets. It’s even more despicable that he’s once again shilling off of his dead wife’s memory.  He has no reason bringing her into his business dealings. Only the biggest douchebag in the world would try to profit off of the memory of a deceased spouse like this little prick is trying to do. Gokey makes us sick.

Here are a few Danny Gokey quotes from E!, just in case you’re not feeling physically ill enough:

“I want to come out with a line of glasses,” says Gokey, known for his fashionable array of eyewear. “And hopefully somehow tie into the foundation [his deceased wife Sophia's Heart Foundation]. Maybe some of the proceeds can help whatever we try to do for the foundation. I would really like to start a Danny line or a Gokey line.”

Danny says he started out the season of Idol with only 15 pairs of glasses, but since appearing on the show, “glasses have been raining out of the sky,” and he’s up to more than 50 pairs.

He also says he’d like to model.

Hopefully James Montgomery, the lame MTV reporter who recently wrote last week’s article asking “What Do People Have Against Danny Gokey”, will read this blog and finally get clued in as to why people hate this self centered little asshole.

Danny Gokey performed a hometown concert in Milwaukee – AND FORGOT ALL OF THE WORDS TO BILLIE JEAN. He paced around on stage and just grunted bits of words while the background singers sang the chorus over and over. Then he started talking about how he was “from the church” and the whole performance got all SISTER ACT faster than Whoopie Goldberg could say “you in danger, girl.” The entire thing was embarrassing to say the least.

Hey Gokey, I talked to God, and even he said it’s time for you to go. Peace out. You suck.

This comment from We Hate Idol reader GNN was so funny and spot on, we had to dedicate an entire post to it:

Adam Lambert looks disgusting and he’s completely plastic. He’s not being himself up there. If he was, he’d be dressing up like a woman and he’d have purple hair and his tongue down a random dude’s throat.

You may think he’s good now, but that’s only because you listen to him once a week for three minutes. Imagine buying his record and hearing that ear piercing squeal he does in the middle of every song for 12-14 songs in a row. That’s down right torturous and I wouldn’t wish that kind of pain on anyone.

And yes, we all know Adam Lambert was only put in the bottom 2 this week to scare his fans into voting more for him. It’s just another disgusting, despicable example of why WE HATE IDOL.

We’ve all seen the annoying heart shapes that Danny Gokey makes with his hands while Ryan Seacrest reads his voting numbers every week:

And of course we all know Danny Gokey owns  more eyeglasses than any “straight man” on the face of the Earth (in fact, it has been scientifically proven that Gokey has more glasses than all of the nursing homes in the United States combined).

So is it just a crazy coincidence that Lenscrafters recently rolled out a new ad campaign with people making heart shapes with their hands?

There are only three possibilities, all of which make Gokey even more of a loser than we originally thought:

1) Danny Gokey has some secret deal with Lenscrafters, and is getting free eyewear for giving the company shout-outs on each episode.

2) Danny Gokey is giving a shout-out to his late wife, who died of a heart disease. If this is the case, Danny is a douchebag for pimping out the memory of his dead wife for sympathy votes.

or 3) Danny Gokey is JUST A HUGE TOOL, who loves to make fancy heart shapes with his hands like he’s a 7 year old girl.

Whichever one you choose, Gokey blows. The end.

(Thanks to Jill & OneTrickPony for the tip)

Hey everybody -

We understand you all have your favorite – and least favorite – Idol contestants (we do too). The debates in the comments section are getting heated, and that is fine… but we will not tolerate or condone HATEFUL SPEECH on this website. I have a zero percent tolerance for gay bashing, and all racist/anti-gay comments will be moderated and deleted.

Speak your case for or against your favorites, but do it intelligently and have a sense of humor about it. Idol is the biggest joke on television – so lighten up.

Enjoy yourselves,

-WEHATEIDOL STAFF

I just posted this over at Pophangover, but figured I should post it over here as well. Anyone who knows me knows I loathe Adam Lambert with the fire of 10,000 suns. That can only mean one thing: he’s definitely going to be this year’s American Idol winner (I hated David Cook equally as passionately last year, and look what happened). Therefore, it is with an incredibly high level of nausea that I present to you this list of ridiculous Adam Lambert items currently for sale on eBay:

One question: does it come with a grease stain from Adam Lambert’s head?

Nothing says “nighty night” like the sight of Adam Lambert’s crotch glowing on your wall.

How about this gorgeous Adam Lambert mousepad? Look how nicely his eyeliner brings out the pink lettering.

I guarantee you’ll never get robbed while carrying this Adam Lambert purse, since it screams “I HAVE NO CLASS AND OWN NOTHING WORTH STEALING.”

Low-end pizza plates, emblazoned with Lambert’s face and fashioned into earrings. I’ll take two!

Let me spell it out for you: Adam Lambert is a douche, regardless of his sexual orientation. And furthermore, DISLIKING ADAM LAMBERT DOES NOT MAKE YOU HOMOPHOBIC. It only means you HAVE WORKING EARS.

A few more points to drive it home: Adam Lambert? SUCKS! Elton John? DOESN’T SUCK. Adam Lambert? SUCKS! Melissa Etheridge? DOESN’T SUCK. Are we clear?

So do the world a favor and come up with a more valid point before you put your unoriginal little finger on the mouse and click the “send comment” button.

Thanks,
MGMT

This year, American Idol has a top 13 instead of a top 12… and there’s one tiny problem:

THE MORONIC PRODUCERS FORGOT TO SECURE THE 1-866-IDOLS-13 PHONE NUMBER FOR VOTING PURPOSES.

If you dial 1-866-Idols-13, as of right now, 7 hours before showtime, you get a very NSFW sultry message from a porn hotline. Absolutely hysterical.

Pophangover Exclusive: click here to listen to the audio of the message currently being played on 1-866-IDOLS-13.