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American Idol Top 2 Episode Recap: LIVE BLOG (5/19/09)
Published on: May 19, 2009 – 7:01 pm by Jillian Madison 
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Well, guys, we made it! We’ve endured bad singers, stage collapses, and and more Adam Lambert ass kissing than I care to mention. Thankfully, tonight marks the final performance show of the season. The winner will be announced in a boring, bloated, far-too-long episode tomorrow night.
In case you’ve been living under a rock, tonight’s finalists are Adam Lambert and Kris Allen. Each guy will sing 3 songs: their favorite song from the season, one song chosen by show creator Simon Fuller, and one song co-written by Kara DioGuardi.
Oh, look. Adam’s dad is on TV, talking about what a little hyperactive, screaming prick he was as a child. Like Adam said, “not much different than I am now.” Precisely.
Adam’s singing Mad World again. This time, the producers spent shitloads of money on stage smoke and fog machines for him. Hopefully the smoke will blow up around his face to make this performance easier to sit through again. He’s wearing all black, with a long black trench coat. So what, he’s trying to earn the trench coat mafia vote now? Do I even need to tell you all how self indulgent this performance is? Even Simon called it “overly theatrical and Phantom of the Opera” – and it was.
Oh dear. Kris Allen’s mother just said “Q-pon” instead of “coupon.” That’s a major no no.
Kris is singing Ain’t No Sunshine. Is he an idiot? Why isn’t he singing Heartless by Kanye from last week? That performance blew everybody away. No one under the age of 72 likes the song Ain’t No Sunshine. Big mistake. And can I mention he doesn’t have fog machines or special lighting like Adam Lambert did? Why don’t they just shut the lights off and have Simon shine a fucking flashlight on him and be done with it?
Adam Lambert is up next, singing Change Is Gonna Come by Sam Cooke, picked for him by Idol creator Simon Fuller. And of course, half way through the song, we were treated to a 13-second long screech with his tongue hanging out. There are no words in the English language strong enough to accurately describe my loathing of his cringeworthy, abrasive voice. Hated every second of it. Someone needs to walk by this toolbag with a pin, pop his gigantic ego, and deliver him back down to Earth. He’s out of control.
And what the hell is going on with Paula Abdul’s excessively orange spray tan? She looks, and sounds,
like an oompa loompa.
Kris is up next, singing What’s Going On. I’ll tell you what’s going on: not much. Another performance that his target audience will not appreciate or be able to relate to. Blame it on Idol creator Simon Fuller who picked this song for him. I’m surprised he didn’t make him sing “Row row row your boat.”
Adam Lambert is now singing a song called No Boundaries, co-written by Kara DioGuardi. Wow. This song is INCREDIBLY CORNY. “With every step you climb another mountain!” Open mouth, vomit, and repeat as necessary. Adam’s overly theatrical performance is only making it more painful. I mean, guys, this is HORRIBLY BAD. The song has the word “hurricane” in it, for God’s sake. I hope no one is listening in New Orleans. Aside from the song, I can’t stand the sight of his bloated face. And frankly, those acid washed pants he’s got on belong in the GARBAGE. Blow my nonexistent penis, Lambert.
I can’t even BELIEVE we have to listen to this God-awful Kara DioGuardi song again. Poor Kris Allen is really struggling with it. It’s way too high for him. He’s pitchy, and he isn’t hitting the notes at all. I know this song sucks, but come on, Kris, it’s the finals. I can’t even blame him. He’s completely out of his element with this song. It’s not his genre or his style, and it was picked because it was more geared toward Adam Lambert’s voice. This was one of Kris Allen’s worst performances to date – and the producers wanted it that way.
That’s all she wrote. This was one of the most awful American Idol finales I’ve ever seen. The song choices were HORRIBLE, the performances were below average, and the Kara DioGuardi song was like a cruel joke against humanity. And we thought Paula Abdul’s song sucked?!
We’ll bring you the results as soon as they go down tomorrow night. See you then. We Hate Idol, OUT.
YEAH DAWG!
Let the crap throwing begin.
holla, like this even matters…they both get contracts…so I mean…why bother?
I should have bought an 8-pack for this. Damn lack of foresight!
GOOD LORD. THANK GOODNESSSSSSS IT ONE HOUR
now instructions to program the DVR? PUKEEEE.
Vomit, where in the hell can you get an 8-pack? I’ve heard of 6 packs, 12 packs, 30 packs (those used to be my packs) but never an 8-pack.
Guinness cans come in 4s & 8s. But I’m ready for the games to begin.
crowning the winner?
Oh god that montage of scrotum squeezing screams. My dinner is churning.
GLAMBERT. still screaming.
Are we in the fucking matrix now? Adam = Trinity?
Um, smoke in mirrors?
ewwww.
Am I watching the Wizard of OZ?
Gary Jules redux. If he doesn’t control that pouty lip thing, he’s gonna drool all over the mic.
He cant find the cameras…he is looking EVERYWHERE. haha… maybe it make him F*CK up.
I cant stand Adams puffy face, isnt that sign of … (fill in your choice here)
coke bloat? cum bloat? being a fat ass?
Just like CAKE SAID: I want a girl in short skirt and a LONG JACKET! hahahaha
Oh jesus H. Here come the twilight references. Stop the insanity!
paula looks like the door guard for the emerald city
adam over theatrical? Nah…
i think of the pokey gokey fans will vote for Kris and Kris just might take it!
QUE-pon or COUPON???
i hated AINT NO SUNSHINE. i think this is bad choice.
What!? No fog for Kris?
its not geared toward his “girls” that are voting for him.
At least Kris can play an accompanying instrument. I’ll give him that, dawg.
Paula: You awaken the spirit?
WTF?
ew that face LAMBUSH made when he said “mmmm”
just laughable.
Paula hit up the Mystic Tan hard today.
Yikes this song choice for Kris.
Oh, was that Anthony Hopkins in the audience? He’s clapping like he doesn’t know where the hell he is or who the hell he’s clapping for. Wow, did Simon almost not kiss Adam’s ass there?
Yeah one week Simon hates theatrics, then decides it’s ok and the next it’s too much. Make up your mind dick!
LMAO at that fog screencap!
love the Pee-Wee Herman outfit.
you smelling that shit coming from the judges…..paula your fucked up.
Could Simon what’s his name have picked a crappier song for Kris to sing?
It was like a street performance in NYC dawg.
lololol blind guy!!
And once again, Jillian, thanks for that wonderful pic of Adam with his tongue sticking out. I’m sure it will work its way into my nightmare tonight.
1 million % sabotage!
this is AMERICAN IDLE. Ugggg. so boring.
YIKES, I double posted! Moved the comments over here, so there is only one thread for tonight’s show. Sorry guys!
J
this is AMERICAN IDLE.
so boring.
good god this performance is DREADFUL!
HOLY CRAP….WTF WAS THAT ADAM…OK PEOPLE YOU YOU NOW UNDERSTAND, HE CAN’T SING
that was HORRIFIC!
hahaha and people want a whole album of this SHITE?!
what’s a hurikin?
WOW…HE DID SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD THE JUDGES TOTALLY HIDING HOW THEY REALLY FEEL…IDOL IS FUCKED UP
I don’t think New Orleans will be disgusted by one word. I mean, that happened 4 years ago. They can probably handle a word in a song.
UGG, Ryan just said GLAMBERT was a CLASS ACT, did he mean ASS ACT?
A DAM: what???? Ok, it was a joke…lighten up. Laughable.
I could stand a hurricane right now. with A LOT of rum.
Honestly, Jillian, it was terrible, it was an awful performance, and the song itself sucked (thanks, Kara, for your continued contributions to the music world) but it just doesn’t fucking matter. These people just think that Adam is the second coming. I don’t get it, you don’t get it, maybe there’s just a select few that weren’t supposed to get it? I don’t know, it all blows my mind. I cannot stand him.
Ok I can’t understand a word Kris is mushmouthing.
looks like Adam did his nails for this evening.
Yentze, I know. I was just saying. Besides, I – er, I mean, Adam – sang the song pretty damn good. Despite a bit of scree-YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! in it.
Yucctan: Maybe it Maybelline?
Is Kris singing another Kara song? Christ, where did she get her song writing degree, KMart? (you’re all supposed to laugh at that)
How is it that Cara writes a song that NEITHER person could sing. They both sounded awful, I think my windows busted out.
Yeah, yeah, A DAM it was SCREACCCH-AYYY. I dont think closed captions could even follow that if you had them on the TV, not sure why you would…but if you did –it would read: UNRECOGNIZABLE.
Daf, they both sang the same song for the last one. Day and night isn’t it?!
DAFF… i laughed. HAHA
I thought those were 2 totally differnt songs, go figure. They both sucked.
come on Kris, this last song is blowing…pretty badly.
OMG JILLIAN those closeups are making me ill!
Why the hell did they even sing that monstrosity of a song if they weren’t going to be judged on it?
OMG, Kris, please pull your shit together, this is horrible…fuck.
Kara made this SONG purely for adam just to fuck over Kris.
I’m telling you, Kris was pretty terrible tonight.
Alright, signing out, gotta vote for myself – er, I mean, Adam – and watch the pilot of Glee!
- A Dam Lam Bert
i am glad i won’t see the final tomorrow GO CAVS!
adam butchered that crap too. kara dioguardi needs to be drawn and quartered.
Mmmm, sweet sweet Underwood
idol is on it’s way..off the air………sing it….adam lambert killed the idol show and now it’s lame to watch…idol is on it’s way off the air
Oh, poor li’l Kris, we hardly knew ye. I’ll vote a few times, I mean, come on, it’s not like I have some kind of emotional investment in this. The world can have Adam, they can keep him, too. I honestly don’t ever want to see his overly gussied up face ever again after this.
ok so far GLEE is way better than idol
worst finale episode ever. the songs sucked. kara dioguardi should never be allowed to write anything, ever again. corniest shit ive ever heard in my life.
WTF did I just spend an hour of my life watching!?!? I can’t believe how bad that Kara Dioguardi song was!!! Neither one of them could sing it, but Kris was even worse than Adam was. I felt bad for him. I agree with you guys, the producers totally have it out for him. Could they make it any more obvious they want Adam to win? Fog machines, special lighting, better songs, it’s a joke.
It doesn’t even matter who wins at this point. We are going to be hearing from both of them for the next year. Prepare yourselves. Prepare your ear drums. And just pray Lambert gets a job on broadway out of the public eye, where people who like him can enjoy him… and people who hate him dont have to hear his screeching fucking voice.
hate lambert. that is all.
*checks neo on “List of People Who Hate Me – Er, I Mean, Adam Lambert”*
Glee is epically awesome
LMAO the last song always sucks, but this was by far the worst one ever . I think I am voting for Kris regardless, just because I like the ridiculous faces he makes when he sings, he looks like he is having an orgasm.
ive never picked up the phone to vote for any reality performer ever – but lambert is so awful he moved me to pick up the phone and vote for kris allen
Just an FYI, I was NOT in that Wendy’s commercial
Er, I mean, Adam was NOT in that Wendy’s commercial
Alex, totally agree with you. They threw poor Kris under the bus. A Dam Lam, what Wendy’s commercial weren’t you in? KickAdamsAss, I TOTALLY agree with you. I’m liking this Glee show, it’s pretty funny. Meg, vote a few more times. Neo, we all do here. Dan, you’re right about Kara’s songwriting, it sucks. Lol, Monique, but who DOESN’T love a guy with orgasm face? And, Sasha, AMEN. Back to “musical theater” with you, Adam. You can just tell that’s what he’s made for. Whatever it is they do in those “musical theaters” is none of my business, but Adam’s “musical theater” pictures scared the bejesus out of me. But Mummy, I dont want to go to the musical theater, it frightens me.
They need to drop Kara from the show. I never understood why she was there in the first place. She probably got the gig from sucking off Simon Fuller. Her Song writing sucks,her judging is overplayed and her personality grossly over acted. Glad its over hope not to see again on this show!
Gerg, I TOTALLY agree. She made AI wayyyyy worst.
I mean worse. HAHA. That’s how I feel about Kara anyway: WORSTTTTTTTT. Ever.
That song sucked so bad.
What pissed me off is that she said the song was to high for Kris. Ok, then, who the hell did she write it for? Oh, yeah, that’s right, it was Adam. I didn’t mind her at first, but as the season rolled on, I just wanted to fly to LA and beat the fucking crap out of her. Probably would have beaten the crap out of Glambert, too, you know, since I was there anyway, and he’s a limp wristed pussy who would be easy to beat up. The whole show last night, no, you know what, the whole damn season pissed me off. If Glambert is such a stellar performer, how come he wasn’t discovered years ago? I just don’t get it, I think America has lost their collective mind.
Ooops, I should have said America has lost “its” collective mind. I don’t want some Adamtard coming here saying that us “haters” are so stupid we can’t even use the Englesh languij proprly.
The demographic for this show is just clueless. I suppose that’s why it’s so. um. “successful?”
Adam is terrible along the lines of Taylor Hicks, Fantasia, and Ruben.
They all won AI. Why? Because the judges coach you along to make you believe the singers are better than they really are. You are a sheep if you listen to a word they say. Listen for yourself. Hear the performer sing (or scream/squeel in Adams case) and generate opinions on whether or not YOU like them, not the judges.
America, obviously, is full of sheep.
I was annoyed with Simon pronouncing “hurricanes” like “hurra-kans”.
Oh, I listened to them sing, GNN. Seriously, I actually put on a pair of headphones (the ones that cover your whole ear and let’s you hear EVERYTHING) and listened to them both sing their “best” songs. I thought Kris’s “Heartless” was great, I loved his voice, I love the acoustic guitar, I loved the arrangement. God, I then listened to “Mad World”, the song that everyone stuck their head up Adam’s ass for. It sounds like he’s singing with food or marbles or a thick liquid (oh, jeez) in his mouth, like he’s got a big wad of chaw stuck behind his bottom lip. IT IS AWFUL. I said this before, but if you listen to his voice in that song, he’s almost a dead ringer for Herbert the creepy old perv on Famiy Guy, if you know what he sounds like.
Jills, I’m annoyed with just about everything Simon says anymore.
Ha ha! I was forced to watch American Idol instead of a Brewer game (they won, by the way)!
Best part of the show/ this blog was Q-pon! I hate when people say Q-pon. I am from Wisconsin, so I hear it a lot! I do not watch the show, but I read this blog every week and you never cease to crack me up! What amazed me is how you correctly described Adam’s schreeching abilities! Hey-o!
The show has been geared towards Adam from practically the beginning, (Johnny Cash Song Ring of Fire) is pretty much the time were the favoritism started. You can tell in the performances. Opening stairway walk, smoke machines, standing ovations (from SIMON!!!) and that “I Kissed A Girl” cuntslime chick wearing his FUCKING NAME on her Elvis cape! WTF!!! How can the producers allow that shit to happen. The judges try so hard to sway the viewer votes towards this “sword swallower”!!! I pray to everyones GoD that this (guy?) dosent win! I wanna cut his tongue off and shove-it up his ass!!!
I couldnt breath last night in all that smoke from the Mad World performance! (cough* cough*)
Adam
Sucks
Balls!!
TO ALL THE LITTLE GIRLS, ADAM WILL NEVER POUND YOUR VAG BECAUSE:
Idol Romance: Two Finalists Dating?
Staff Writer
New reports claim two American Idol finalists are dating.
“The New York Daily News” says Anoop Desai and Megan Joy are an item. The couple were caught getting cozy recently while eating dinner at Outback Steakhouse. Adam Lambert and his alleged boyfriend joined the couple at the Burbank restaurant.
Anoop and Megan both finished in the top ten and will be on tour with the other American Idol finalists this summer.
Simmer down American Idol haters! You all need to realize that the contestants have entire creative control. They are responsible for the musical arrangement, props, such as the fog machine, how they are going to enter, etc. Don’t blame Adam for putting creativity and thought into each performance. Having said this, I am not an American Idol fan, I think they both suck….. just wanted to get the facts out.
LOL from the looks of (dialidol.com)…well if your brave you can look for yourself
i just HATE american idol, and for sure it is all set up.
Hey Labrdoodle, do you want to buy some swamp land? Even if it works, it works for BOTH contestants. I guess you all just want an out if Adam wins, so that you can say “it was rigged from the beginning”. Hey, whatever makes you feel better. I for one just like this blog, hate the show, just like reading comments.
Anoop….you dog you!! How on earth did you score it with our lovely Meghan?????
Adam has sung last 5 times (by producers “random” pick). Kris has sung last TWICE (and the second was by an actual coin toss). Acting like there is no favoritism going on means you either haven’t been watching the show as the judges lick Adam’s man-fed balls or you are just like the rest of the morons in America who would like to be there licking his man-fed balls.
Adam is simply the WORST contestant AI has EVER had. I’ve never posted on this site before but this season just proves how washed up, dried up American Idol is. Adam’s performances HAVE NOT CHANGED from Hollywood week when the judges said it was “too musical theater, too showtuney” and yet the judges never mentioned it but two or three times through the whole top 36 (even though it has been IDENTICAL EVERY WEEK).
He sounds and looks as though he’s having an anneurism every time he performs, maybe that explains his craterfaced squealing on every episode?
WOW there is way too much emotion on this site. You’re right, I’ve only watched a couple of times, only parts of the show. You are all way too consumed with this show…it’s strange that there are only a few of you that post over and over again. Has it ever occured to you that YOU are wrong and the rest of the world is right? Maybe it’s all of YOU that wouldn’t know talent if it slapped you in the face? It’s obvious that they are both talented and both will be successful, how about all of you….. I would think not!
We just know better, SimmerDown. Besides you are clearly lying about not being an AI fan/hating the show. If the rest of the world is “right” (being the sheep that they are buying into this shit) then I welcome being “wrong.” For someone who thinks we’re all overly emotional, you sure keep coming back often to throw in your two cents. Welcome to the club, you hypocrite.
Wow, really SImmerdown? Sounds like you need to, too. You’re entitled to your opinion, just like everyone else here is. Most of us here just seem to have the same opinion, and that is that Adam is overrated and under-talented. Why did you even come here to say what you said? If you’ve only watched AI a couple of times, what possible reason could you have to come to a site called “We Hate Idol”? Seriously, if you don’t watch the show, what do you have to say on this site? The rest of the bloody world, who you say are right, are also the same people that think “Twilight” is an awsome movie, Robert Whatshisname is better than Sir Laurence Olivier, the Jonas Brothers are comparable to the Beatles, and Miley Cyrus is the Queen of fucking England.
And, yep, I post on this site more than some other people, so what? Do you have a problem with that? That doesn’t mean I’m “consumed”. I come on here a couple of times a day, see what people have to say, and say something myself, as I do some other websites that I like. Seems like you’re “consumed” with something here, too, Simmerdown.
LOL…You tell them Dafeedil
TWILIGHT..blows ass, i walked out
Jonas Brother…cannot sing! DISNEY enhances the voices, and the promise ring thing, what a joke, them to BEATLES NEVER!
Miley Cyrus…Has some big issues with DADDY…lol…that is a whole messed up thing there, again DISNEY enhancements.
ADAM LAMBERT…leave that to the little kiddys when he comes out of the closet, america will freak, and the girlies will turn their back on him.
I am just glad this is over!
I came to this site because somebody told me it was funny, which I thought… AT FIRST. I had no idea how cruel all of you are, I was just having a little fun, I am truly sorry for making you so angry.
THUMBS DOWN FOR U, BB.
Simmerdown, you wrote THIS:
You are all way too consumed with this show…it’s strange that there are only a few of you that post over and over again. Has it ever occured to you that YOU are wrong and the rest of the world is right? Maybe it’s all of YOU that wouldn’t know talent if it slapped you in the face? It’s obvious that they are both talented and both will be successful, how about all of you….. I would think not!
How the hell do you want people to respond to that?
OH MY GOD UR AWESOME.
MADDAM LAMBERT needs to just go away… forever.
I am now wholly uninterested in watching next season of Idol since it’s become Pimp a Ho.
HEY! WATCH YOUR WORDS! YOU KNOW THE GLAMBERT/LAMBSKANK/ADAM BOMB/ADAM MITE AND ALL OF THE ADAM LAMBERT NATION IS FREAKING INTERNATIONAL.
LEARN TO RESPECT OTHERS. SO IF EVEN IF YOU HAVE CERTAIN FEELINGS ABOUT ADAM, PLEASE KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. BASHING IS NEVER OK TO DO.
PLEASE KEEP IT INTERNAL, I DONT WANT ANYMORE HURT FEELINGS EVERYWHERE. TRUST ME, NOT FUN TO CLEAN UP.
WE ALL LIVE IN A POSITIVE WORLD AND I’D LIKE TO KEEP IT THAT WAY.
kris is a dumb ass horse mouth when he singss his mouth slants it sooo werid cant wait for adam to win hahahahahahaha put shit about kris being a horse!!!!! lol
hey hey hey. just bc u like 1 dont mean u gotta bash the other. respect both and b a good soul.
May I ask Candice what friggn drugs are you on??
why even comment to posts over a year old??
Hey, Taylor, I think them’s misspelled fightin’ words.
let the garbage begin!
Mikalah Gordon looks like the female gremlin.
Oh wow you’re so clever and smart. So SAVVY and satirical.
Too bad you can’t speak proper English.
Lemme get this straight. Adam Lambert has been a working singer and actor for 17 years. Including getting the only good review (exceptional review) in the entire cast of The Ten Commandments, flawless Brigadoon “Come To Me Bend To Me” at 22 years old, and performing in professional theater around the world but he’s untalented and an asshole.
But YOU otoh, are so impressive you can run a lame ass blog where you can’t even conjugate a verb properly.
It’s “You should have SUNG”….not “You should have SANG”.
ROFLMAO. Trailer trash. Compare yourself to the Gifted Adam Lambert in even ONE interview. Well spoken, kind, humble and NO GRAMMATICAL ERRORS you moron. The fact that you didn’t even catch it says it all. That’s actually how you speak.
very nice!
wow the only painful thing to sit through is this obviously biased post. You probably just did this cuz american idol doesnt accept no talent ego-maniacs like you. And if you hate the show stop watching it ya loser. By the way I LOVE Adam Lambert. Deal with it.
Oh my god. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! Glambert Nation btw is INTERNATIONAL!!! *high fives you*
so just kiss my a**!
thank god your here to set these losers straight. these lame cowards have no talent so they choose to vent on a bash site. Very grown up and mature! When’s your nap time guys?
AMEN.
Oh I’m talking to you Illeterate Blogger Ideots. I’m so glad that firstly, you can point out OBVIOUSE grammatical errors, and that your not just on here to bash very talented singers. Thank You
oh, u are awesome.
Why do you guys HATE kradam?!?!?! Their really awesome and I bet you’re just jealous.
Adam might be too much for you, but he’s so honest about himself. Great singer, person, and everything in between. Same goes for Kris. I may not b a total Kris dork but you dont see me bashing him. Thats just rude.
Adam has done so much for us in our lives and I appreciate it greatly. And I think, you should too.