Published on: April 21, 2009 – 2:05 pm by Jillian Madison 
I just posted this over at Pophangover, but figured I should post it over here as well. Anyone who knows me knows I loathe Adam Lambert with the fire of 10,000 suns. That can only mean one thing: he’s definitely going to be this year’s American Idol winner (I hated David Cook equally as passionately last year, and look what happened). Therefore, it is with an incredibly high level of nausea that I present to you this list of ridiculous Adam Lambert items currently for sale on eBay:
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One question: does it come with a grease stain from Adam Lambert’s head? |
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Nothing says “nighty night” like the sight of Adam Lambert’s crotch glowing on your wall. |
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How about this gorgeous Adam Lambert mousepad? Look how nicely his eyeliner brings out the pink lettering. |
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I guarantee you’ll never get robbed while carrying this Adam Lambert purse, since it screams “I HAVE NO CLASS AND OWN NOTHING WORTH STEALING.” |
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Low-end pizza plates, emblazoned with Lambert’s face and fashioned into earrings. I’ll take two! |
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Isn’t this one precious? Starting bid is just $.99 with no bidders! Yours, straight from Hong Kong with love! |
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What time is it? Time to paint your fingernails black, and shriek at the top of your lungs. |
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Thank God this is one of a kind, because if there were more than one of these in the world, I don’t think I could sleep at night without heavy medication. |
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Let’s play “Guess What’s for sale?” Is it the lady with the bedazzled shirt? Or the faux-diamond encrusted, faux-rose embellished picture frame? I DON’T WANT EITHER. |
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Someone bought a doll, combed its hair back, and applied eyeliner/lipstick to it, and is selling it as an “Adam Lambert Doll.” There is no hope for humanity. |
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Look at the craftsmanship… the attention to detail… on this Adam Lambert Nintendo DS case. Amazing. |
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A wooden trinket box! To hold your guyliner. |
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Of course, there are the obligatory Adam Lambert switchplate covers… because he looks better in the dark. |
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Oh my dear sweet Jesus, it’s an Adam Lambert shower curtain… one that depicts Adam Lambert’s head at its actual bloated size. I’m so shocked no one has bid on it! |
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Adam Lambert iPhone case. What a joke. |
AND NOW… THE MOST PATHETIC ADAM LAMBERT ITEM FOR SALE ON EBAY: THE ADAM LAMBERT “NO BOYS ALLOWED UNLESS YOUR ADAM LAMBERT” RUG
1 Trackback(s)
LMAO. Jillian this is too much!
Capitalism at its finest????
gimme a freaking break. UGGGG.
I dun woodnt mind wanna them dolls
OMG, this is for real?
LOL…trash like adam
To the person who created this thread,
You are a genius, some of the best I have ever read, not that I am a critic, I have lmao the whole way through. You would VERY EASILY give http://maddox.xmission.com/, a run for his money, and he even got a book deal. NICE JOB! Keep it up!
This website is a scream! I happen to like Adam, but the shit on here is HYSTERICAL!! Keep slinging the barbs, they are GREAT!
LAMAO!!
I think the purse is kinda cute… well of course I am a Adam Lambert fan
♥HIM SOOOOOO much hope he wins!!!
OMG ROFLOL! I LOVE!!!!!!!!!!! ADAM LAMBERT BUT THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES! thanks a lot.. imma go check out ebay now =) and i definatly wanna go to sleep to his crotch on the wall =) lol.. and i have nothing so i wont get robbed… but someone may steal my purse.. and im definatly gtting the iphone case =) thanks lots!! (now i can shower with adam lambert =))
HUH. I do want Adam Lambert’s crotch on my wall (and other places), thank you very much. Also that iPhone case, ohh my damn. He’s sexy. Yeah that’s right I love him. Get over it. Oh and I would do ANYTHING to shower with Adam Lambert.
13 yr old girls everywhere are peeing their pants! ..or creaming them
i freaking love adam lambert, bu thtis is hilarious. and i would also love to shower with adam lambert. haha
hahaahh good one Kaitlin :D maybe they should get those blow up dolls . then for sure they would get business :P LOL
Your comment is awaiting moderation. Moderate “THESE”!!!
To all you girls who want to shower with Adam:
Apparently ya’ll don’t have HDTV’s and/or are bandwaggon fans that didn’t get to see the crater face before the stylist started putting an inch of makeup on him.
But hey…if one day he decided he liked girls I’m sure ya’ll could share make-up and eyeliner together. How sweet.
Hilarious. BUT, the boy is freaking hot and his voice could make anyone melt. I want to turn him straight.
The most wonderful thing about sexuality is that you can’t change it! And I’m gay anyway, so I don’t have to worry about it! Life is cruel, right? lolz
I love Adam.
I dont like American Idol.
I only watch it because hes on there.
But all this crap is annoying lol
Its irritating how people ware him out or shove him in people’s faces.
I stay away from people like that lol
If by “melting” you mean like the witch in the Wizard of Oz, then you’re absolutely spot on. I get sick to my stomach when I hear/watch him perform to the point where I have to leave the room now. It’s literally nauseating.
He looks disgusting and he’s completely plastic. He’s not being himself up there. If he was, he’d be dressing up like a woman and he’d have purple hair and his tongue down a random dudes throat.
You may think he’s good now, but that’s only because you listen to him once a week for three minutes. Imagine buying his record and hearing that ear piercing squeal he does in the middle of every song for 12-14 songs in a row. That’s down right torturous and I wouldn’t wish that kind of pain on anyone.
Well, having purchased his CD (well, actually I used someone else’s money only because I hate spending money), and having listened to it for a good few months, it’s safe to say that his CD isn’t all rock screaming. A lot of it isn’t as a matter of fact. There’s a pretty decent balance, so I think that he didn’t have to be so much of an attention-whore once off Idol. That, and if it brings you any solace, his voice is thinning out since he’s been rock-screaming too much, and the mucus on the throat needs more time to recover than just a few hours before doing it again. However, thankfully, he can’t ruin his voice by how he’s singing, so there you go.
LMAO GNN. Well put.
what is freaken wrong with you your are the anoyingest trash talking freak iv ever come across your sick and you discuss me!!!! i love adam so mutch i cryied when he was in the bottom 3 and im sure other people love him strait or gay so go die and stop trash talking about MY adam!!!!!!!!
love, Taylor<333333
Duh- we got the memo adam is GAy… so what?! He’s f-in creative, however the suit isnt really him.. He probably cant wait to dirty it up a bit….Just like Cristina Aguilara did on her second album…Maybe I should send Adam a cock-ring!!!
You notice no one is mentioning Adam’s sexuality except for you tard fans. Now come back when you can make a rational and coherent argument (hint: try graduating high school first).
He may be fat, camp and over theatrical but at least he can sing. The most stupid thing about Idol is the voting audience. The judges need shut Idol down and all retire to their mansions whilst the voters can play banjos and whisky jugs on the porches of their trailers.
His singing abilities are subjective. I think he sounds like shite and the only place he belongs on stage is in some sort of Senior Citizens’ Cabaret Revue down in the Villages.
Hahahahahaaha i actually like adam but this is some really stupid stuff xD
I JUST LOVE THIS WEBSITE!!! WHY, BECAUSE I KINDA ENJOY READING ALL THE DISGUISTING COMMENTS BEING SAID ABOUT THE CONTESTANTS!!! IT ACTUALLY GAVE ME SOME INSIGHT AS TO HOW GOOD A PERSON I AM.
NEVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE HAVE I READ SOMETHING SO GODDAMN ENTERTAINING. LOL, YOU ARE ALL SO GOOD AT BASHING PEOPLE. YOU SHOULD ALL GET A SCHOLASTIC WRITING MEDAL FOR YOUR STORIES.
I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH A BUNCH OF FREAKING HYPOCRITES IN MY WHOLE LIFE, THAT’S THE FUNNIEST PART!!! SO, YOU HATE ADAM, RIGHT?? GIVE ME A BREAK!! YOU GUYS LOVE HIM!!! IF YOU HATE ADAM WHY THE FUCK (EXCUSE MY LANGUAGE) ARE YOU SPENDING HOURS AND HOURS EACH DAY WRITING ABOUT HIM AND MAKE SO MUCH EFFORT PUTTING ALL THESE PHOTOS ON THIS THREAD!!
TYPING THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN ENJOYABLE…
AND……….REMEMBER TO GO TO BED EARLY, SCHOOL STARTS AT 8:00 HRS TOMORROW, REMEMBER THAT CHILDREN!!! NIGHTY NIGHT NOW……………. DON’T FORGET TO DRINK YOUR MILK!!!
MENSA, oh, you!! You and your witty retorts!! You’re awesome, and so original!! Is your caps lock button stuck? Maybe you should have your mom loosen the strap on your helmet, it’s too tight and you probably just drooled on your keyboard.
LOLwut, I think that I just peed myself from laughter!
What makes you think it takes an hour, much less multiple hours to post a picture on the internet? You must be new here, especially since you don’t know the caps lock etiquite.
OMG I WANT TO BUY ALL OF THIS STUFF!!!!! I LOVE ADAM LMABERT AND I WILLL ONE DAY MERRY HJIM!!!! HE IS MY IDOL! SO STOP BEING MEAN AND LEAVE HIM ALONE!!
I LOVE YOU ADAM!!
YOUR MY IDOL FREVER!!!!
lol finally some 1 normal same wif me i want all that an im miss lambert lol
Now tell me, are you male or female? For if you are the second, as well as if you aren’t rather psychotic as well as intelligent, your chances of marriage are considerably slimmer than even that of my own (and those are slim to begin with).
This freaking site is the stupidest thing I have ever seen. If you hate AI so much, why the hell do you watch it and then have all the damn spooks of it? Get a life!!!
Whogivesadamn… you clearly give a damn seeing as you bothered to search out this site, click into it, read it (or not.. as most of you criticizing the site seem to be illiterate). You dig?
The best part about the world is that most of it seems to be illiterate…especially America for some odd reason. Any clue as to why (hint: it starts with an A, ends with an L and rhymes with Caesarian Sidle).
[...] because THAT’S WHAT ADAM ORDERS! They are the dweebs who would pay $70 on eBay for an Adam Lambert shower curtain. Give me a break. Do the world a favor. Get a life, and throw your support behind someone who [...]
OMG! I so agree, that is exactly what happened to me! I could of murdered David Cook, and now he is the American Idol winner of season 7, and he SUCKED. And the sad thing is I would rather listen to him then Adam LAMEbert, he is AWFUL. I hope that he is pushed off of a cliff and that I am the one to do it! HE MUST DIE AND LOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
not b4 i kill u first bitch!!!1
Lose, certainly, but just give him to me…there is a darkness in me that does not sleep…
I hate idol, I went to highschool with this metrosexual s.o.b. and he’s worse now then he was back then, and ugly as sin! …totally nauseating! I hate turning on the radio in the mornings to go to work and all any station wants to talk about is idol. It’s ridiculous! I don’t want my sons asking to borrow my eyeliner! If that’s what America idolizes now, then we’ve definately taken a wrong turn somewhere!
If the dolls could say, “Hi, I’m a self-centered gay! And you are?” over and over again, I’d probably buy them.
Then rip its head off. Yey stupid glambert.
UR A F U CKEN IDOIT man ur all stupid !!!!11
Ooh tell us more, Hating idol!
HATING IDOL: OMG! you should blindfold and cover your sons’ ears everyday so that they wouldn’t see and hear anything horrible in this world.
JOSEF: You’re probably gay too, right? HAHA. How pathetic. I pity you, Let me help you rip your head off. Yay stupid nobody Josef.
So I guess you also put up a list of stupid David Cook merchandise from ebay last year? Huh.
luv the doll comment. lol. STOP BEING SO FUNNY! its against my adam-worshipping religion to laugh at thiss stuff! rotfl.
omg. i agree who would want an adam doll and shower curtain…or rug. but i love him and american idol. he is soooo good at sining. i am so going to buy his album when it comes out and get it on my ipawd!!! love him and american idol. so what. i do u dont. your loss rite! ha!
ME!!!!!!!!!!
I love Adam, but this is hilarious :)
wow lady , are you for real ? this is what i really hate about adam HATERS .
1. if you hate him so freaking much then sto talking about him ! you obviously have nothing etter to do with your time
2. go get your ears checked , cause from where i come from ( yah know the blue planet called earth ) thats called singing . hitting a high E ! most people cant even hit a high C so please stop hating
3. ur a hipocrite
:) so please miss thing , get a life
Ok…so…I have to say that I hate him WAY WAY MORE than any of you can possibly comprehend….why you ask?….good question…perhaps I should tell you MY name….Adam Joseph Lambert…. Now you see? DO YOU?!!?!?!!
lol, poor guy.
dude i love u name stop complaining ……..
SCREW YOU GUYS ADAM LAMBERT IS AMAZING AND YOURE ALL JUST JELOUS OF HIS INSANE AMOUNT OF TALENT.
ASDJIJIODSJADOSIJAD
HATERS.
I wish every one would stop judging people. He as an amazing singer and he does things his way my over doing it and he reminds me of some one else lets see Micheal Jackson for one so if you do not like what he does that that is saying you do not like Micheal RIP. So why don’t you all stop being so jealous and get a life.
Dear Nichole. Your comment is in itself inherently judgmental. You’re a moron. Shove it up your arse.
Vomit, kudos to you for actually making sense of her comment. Have you gotten a life yet? Not me, it’s all just fun and games down her in my mom’s basement. I wonder what kind of insane tards this season will bring?
oops, down “here”.
I’m getting deeper everyday Daf. In mind and in the basement.
God bugger it,but i’m one of you guys this season so there’s one less ‘tard’ for you to hassle.(won’t be as ummm out spoken as you guys,but HATE this seasons idol).
Actually, there’s a couple of girls this year that I think are really, really good, like the best I’ve ever heard try out for AI. So, we’ll see. The guys, meh, but then again they usually are meh.
Maybe we haven’t seen that over here yet.There was one girl,she flew from Germany or something,had the weirdest ’speaking’ voice,but could hold a note while singing.that’s the only one who I can recall.We aren’t at the Hollywood stage yet,so maybe once that airs,i’ll agree with you.
Okay bugger it I have to agree with you Daf,saw hollywood week last night and the solo mum that sang ‘natural woman’ummmm think her name was Crystal(??)was pretty good.
I’m a massive Adam supporter,but even I wouldn’t buy this shit.A key ring …maybe,but the rest??ah nah tah.tacky.
that is so mean he is the best singer ever and the hottest so shut up and get a life!!
this is the most horrible website ever evil people for your info im geting those things on ebay of him thier not stupid this website is and u r to for makeing it idiot go to h e l l u suck an i no u hav nothing better o do then pic on him but thiers so many things to do sooo ur realy stupid gosh stop this website its horrible an hes not gross hes hot so shut your mouth cause no1 cares bout the s h i t that comes out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WILL COMMENT ON THIS PAGE EVRY DAY TILL IT ALL STOPS CAUSE THERS PEOPLE THAT LOVE HIM AN THIS IS A HORRIBLE SITE NO RESON 2 HAVE IT
Adamlover-this site IS over.Jillian who started it has left it.I understand ya love Adam,I do too,he’s awesome,but you are responding to what people wrote months ago,sometimes over a year ago.
Lmao wow…I have to admit some of this stuff is pretty stupid. But I’d deff buy some of it xD. And yeah…Adam rules. <_<. I wonder why everybody hates him? Let's see…he's gay and proud?…He has way more money than any of these losers will?…He has girls AND guys lining up for him?…He doesn't give a shit about any of the haters? Hm, I wonder which one it is. Oh well. Only you know. But yeah really, oh well. He's better than any of you low lifes. He's out there singing, with thousands of fans, while you guys are writing hate about him. Who wins?