Does Danny Gokey Have A Secret Deal With Lenscrafters?

We’ve all seen the annoying heart shapes that Danny Gokey makes with his hands while Ryan Seacrest reads his voting numbers every week:

And of course we all know Danny Gokey owns  more eyeglasses than any “straight man” on the face of the Earth (in fact, it has been scientifically proven that Gokey has more glasses than all of the nursing homes in the United States combined).

So is it just a crazy coincidence that Lenscrafters recently rolled out a new ad campaign with people making heart shapes with their hands?

There are only three possibilities, all of which make Gokey even more of a loser than we originally thought:

1) Danny Gokey has some secret deal with Lenscrafters, and is getting free eyewear for giving the company shout-outs on each episode.

2) Danny Gokey is giving a shout-out to his late wife, who died of a heart disease. If this is the case, Danny is a douchebag for pimping out the memory of his dead wife for sympathy votes.

or 3) Danny Gokey is JUST A HUGE TOOL, who loves to make fancy heart shapes with his hands like he’s a 7 year old girl.

Whichever one you choose, Gokey blows. The end.

(Thanks to Jill & OneTrickPony for the tip)

MATT GIRAUD Voted Off American Idol (4/29/09)

Moley Matt was voted off American Idol on tonight’s episode. Again. It was inevitable. All of us here at We Hate Idol hope he enjoys his next 2 years playing carnivals, seedy bars, and church functions. Buh-bye.

Adam was in the bottom 2 with him, so at least America got that much right.

We’ll see you next week!

 

A Message To The Commenters

Hey everybody –

We understand you all have your favorite – and least favorite – Idol contestants (we do too). The debates in the comments section are getting heated, and that is fine… but we will not tolerate or condone HATEFUL SPEECH on this website. I have a zero percent tolerance for gay bashing, and all racist/anti-gay comments will be moderated and deleted.

Speak your case for or against your favorites, but do it intelligently and have a sense of humor about it. Idol is the biggest joke on television – so lighten up.

Enjoy yourselves,

-WEHATEIDOL STAFF

Stupid Adam Lambert Items For Sale On Ebay

I just posted this over at Pophangover, but figured I should post it over here as well. Anyone who knows me knows I loathe Adam Lambert with the fire of 10,000 suns. That can only mean one thing: he’s definitely going to be this year’s American Idol winner (I hated David Cook equally as passionately last year, and look what happened). Therefore, it is with an incredibly high level of nausea that I present to you this list of ridiculous Adam Lambert items currently for sale on eBay:

 x1One question: does it come with a grease stain from Adam Lambert’s head?

x2Nothing says “nighty night” like the sight of Adam Lambert’s crotch glowing on your wall.

x3How about this gorgeous Adam Lambert mousepad? Look how nicely his eyeliner brings out the pink lettering.

x4I guarantee you’ll never get robbed while carrying this Adam Lambert purse, since it screams “I HAVE NO CLASS AND OWN NOTHING WORTH STEALING.”

x5Low-end pizza plates, emblazoned with Lambert’s face and fashioned into earrings. I’ll take two!

Simon Didn’t Give Adam Lambert A Standing Ovation Because His Performance Was Good

Attention internet, idiotic bloggers, and moronic magazine editors:

Stop acting like Simon Cowell gave Adam Lambert a standing ovation last night because his performance was good. IT’S NOT LIKE THAT, AND THAT’S NOT WHY IT HAPPENED.

The show ran 10 minutes long, and many people had DVR’s that cut off Adam Lambert’s performance. Many others flipped the channel to another show. And as much as I hate Lambert, I have to say this was a huge error on the producer’s part and it could be construed as being unfair to Lambert.

Bottom line: Simon gave Adam a standing ovation because he HAD TO. He had to do something to counteract the fact that so many people could have potentially missed Adam’s performance, and to shut up the people who would be screaming that Adam “lost votes” because of the mishap.

As always, Adam Lambert Sucks. With or without a faux-genuine standing ovation.

Love,

WE HATE IDOL

SCOTT MACINTYRE Voted Off American Idol (Finally)

Anoop and Scott were the bottom two performers tonight, but ultimately Scott Macintyre was the one sent home. No surprise there. He sucked last night, and frankly, I have no idea how he even made it as far as he did in the competition. Bye, Scott. I won’t miss you one bit.

What else did we learn tonight? Flo-Rida sweats like a pig, Kellie Pickler still can’t sing live, and Adam Lambert looks perfectly at home with half of his face covered in glitter and plastic.

We’ll see you next week for more WEHATEIDOL.