Episode Recaps, Season 8 »
LIVE BLOGGING: American Idol Season 8 (Top 36, Group 2)
Published on: February 25, 2009 – 7:49 pm by Jillian Madison 
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(2/25/09) Hi. I’m Jillian Madison. I’ll be live blogging tonight’s American Idol: Group 2 performances. It’s a 2 hour show tonight, so pop a few No-Doz and settle in. This group sure does look boring.
8:00 pm: Kara’s advice: “It’s all about doing the best you can. There are no second chances.” Those little gems were clearly stolen from page 9 of Rocky Balboa’s “So You Wanna Be A Boxer” handbook.
8:04: Jasmine Murray, 17 going on 32, is the first performer. She’s singing Love Song. Ugh, no. It’s off pitch and she threw down way too many vocal runs. She’s a pretty girl, but her hands are GIGANTIC. The judges didn’t like her performance.
8:14: Matt Giraud, the goofy dueling piano player who never met a tuxedo vest he didn’t like, is up next. He’s singing Viva La Vida by Coldplay. Lookswise, he reminds me of a mixture of Justin Timberlake and Joey Macintyre, but his his performance is really average and forgettable. Oooh, scratch that. His vocal performance is God-awful. He’s missing more notes than a sick college student. Judges hated it.
8:20: Twenty minutes in, and TWO people have performed.
8:25: Jeanine Vailes, some 28 year old bartender and hideous lime green nail polish, is next. I’ve never even heard of before, but she looks like a rejected Pussycat Doll. She’s singing This Love by Maroon 5. Ughhh. This is AWFUL. I know I said that about the other 2, but this is even WORSE. God, I’m envious of Marlee Matlin right now. Judges hated it, but liked her legs. Do they make a consolation prize for that? Bye bye, Jeanine.
8:36: Nick Mitchell. Norman. Whatever. The tool in the sparkly shirt. He’s crawling all over the stage and mouth raping his microphone. Oh wait, he just got to second base with the American Idol sign. Overall, his performance was entertaining. Everyone is laughing, but his whole schtick is a joke. The sad part is, his vocals were better than the 3 people before him. Simon called it “horrific comedy” but Randy called it the “most entertaining performance of all time.”
8:40: Kara said, “We remember you, Norman. You come out every week and wear the same shirt, just like Simon.” Ooh, snap.
VIDEO: Norman’s performance:
8:48: Man. I don’t know who this Allison Irahetta girl is, but she’s been spending far too much time in Stevie Nicks’ closet, that’s for sure.
8:50: She’s singing Alone by Heart. It’s surprisingly not bad. Not nearly as good as Carrie Underwood’s memorable performance from a few years back, but probably the best of the night so far (though that’s not saying much). One thing’s for sure: her voice makes her sound like she can’t wait to get backstage to smoke another pack of KOOLS.
8:55: Kris Allen is next. He apparently only wears flannel shirts. He’s singing… MAN IN THE MIRROR by Michael Jackson. OMG. This could be the worst song choice in American Idol history. Too bad HE didn’t look at the man in the mirror when he was putting on that skin tight imitation Members Only jacket.
9:05: Megan Corkrey has a good voice, but her dance moves are SINFULLY BAD. She’s twisting and stomping her foot, like she’s at a sock hop. I think she learned those dance moves from one of her son’s WIGGLES dvd’s. Still, she had the best performance of the night and I think she’ll breeze into the top 12.
9:12: We’ve just seen our 15th Ford commercial of the night. Now’s a good time to rant about how much this whole “Top 36″ idea blows. These episodes are torture to watch.
9:15: Matt Breitzke, the 38 year old welder who looks more like a bouncer, is up next. He seems like a nice guy, so I won’t mention his really bad lisp. Whoops. I mentioned it. He’s singing Tonic, “If You Could Only See.” Decent voice, but really bad dance moves. Wait, yeah, he just did the white man’s overbite. This is the un-rockiest Tonic performance of all time. Average and forgettable. Judges hated it.
9:20: The commenters on WEHATEIDOL.com are hysterical tonight. Keep it goin’ guys. This one made me laugh: “That’s the best workout Matt got since towing his ugly wifes car from the hometown buffet back in october.” So bad, yet so good.
9:21: Jesse Langseth, another boring and forgettable singer, is up next. She’s singing “Betty Davis Eyes.” What is this, 1982? I absolutely loathe her one-shoulder blue glitter sweater. I don’t like this girl. And she’s wearing a CLASS RING. Who actually wears their CLASS RING???
9:26: This girl is boring. I already forgot her name. Go home to your kid Jesse, buh bye.
9:30: DAMN IT. That damn “nannerpuss” commercial gets in my head for hours. I don’t even know what it’s advertising.
9:33: Kai Kalama. Zzzzzz. He’s doing Elvis movements with his lips as he’s singing “What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted.” This guy looks like Sideshow Bob from the Simpsons. I’ll tell you what becomes of the broken hearted… they wind up on American Idol singing boring songs. This was a dated, old fashioned song and it was, again, boring and forgettable. Simon called it “corny” and “something you’d hear in a hotel.” Word.
9:42: Mishavonna Henson is up next, singing “Drops of Jupiter” by Train. I don’t like the look of her face. She tragically looks like the pig in Charlotte’s Web. She’s just boring and cold. Paula said the song didn’t “excite her.” What the hell IS a drop of Jupiter anyway? Corny. Next.
9:51: Adam Lambert, the 27 year old musical theater geek who loves his black eyeliner, is the final performer of the night. He’s singing “Satisfaction” by the Rolling Stones (which is, personally, one of my top 10 most hated songs of all time). OMG. This performance is screaming ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW. It’s simply HIDEOUS. And he’s wearing an ugly Michael Jackson glove with the fingers cut off, and 93 pounds of fake gold jewelry around his neck. Wow. I can’t even find the words to say how awful that performance was. Hated it.
Ok, Jesus. It’s finally over. Here’s my prediction for the 3 performers who will make it to the top 12: NORMAN/NICK, Megan Corkrey, and Allison Irahetta. We’ll bring you the results tomorrow night as soon as they go down.
As always, leave your thoughts in the comments and we’ll see you tomorrow night.
wow, these folks are bad.
annnnnnd, another commercial.
They really seem to be pushing LG, any coincidence that the set is decked out in LG electronics?
that norman guy is fuckin outta control with that dazzle shirt, is it NYC pride already?
his name is nick mitchel and I heart him. it takes courage to go up there!
um this site is called WE HATE IDOL, not BE NICE IDOL!
that girl with the green nails was disgusting. you know she is bar tender trash. no plans for the future but to PARTY ALL THE TIME. Im surprised she didnt sing a PINK! song
the first girl was OK, one of the best.
WAIIIIIT hold on…
allison
#1: the girl with red hair looks like crack addict nikki mckibbin from season one.
#2: she has braces
#3: she allllmost looks like RACHEL RAY
i hate when they say: im just gonna have FUN! if you dont want to work hard and have fun go to SIX FLAGS!
allison –go back to highschool and make sure you graduate. k?
allisons high heels are so cheap they are scuffing the floor.
OMG…i was waiting for it…any paula pulled it out…
“YOU CAN SING THE TELEPHONE BOOK”
-But which book, the yellow book or the other book?
omg i laughed so hard…KOOLS. how abt pallmalls?
great now this bitch allison thinks she can take the competition by storm.
no this not a plug for the new AT&T blackberry
Kara has the most bulbous nose i have ever seen. and whats the huge gem hanging from her neck? Harry potters sorcerer stone?
i hate the parents and friends in the audience the most. they all look like trash!
megan? wheres the daddy to your baby?
OKKKKKKKKK, enough with ATT.
i love matt, so big and cuddly, i hope he rocks it out da park
randy is going for the kanye west look with those glasses.
matt–thats the best workout he got since towing his ugly wifes car from the hometown buffet back in october,
jesse, the only thing more annoying than her breathy voice is her name
dear jesse while you were singing you have betty davis eyes, betty davis let me know she wants her hairstyle back!
Jillian, great job, the commentary is awesome Im sitting here reading while my wife is ACTUALLY watching this bullshit.
Does KAI drive a KIA?
Kai HAVE SOME OF THAT?
LOLz, Jill, Side Show BoB? Counting Crows? Carrot Top?
Jillian, I dont know if I can hang in there much longer!
the elf is on!!!!! aka: mishavonna
http://www.iwatchstuff.com/images/2006/03/penelope-ricci.jpg
thatssssss mishavonna!
Im so confused, one performer is left and we still have 12 minutes left? what is going on?
my local news channel is telling me they have American Idol news I wont wanna miss, should I stay tuned?
Adam is a disgrace to all EMO.
And, its officially over! Thank Goodness, but as horrible as it was, I still watched?
It’s called guy-liner.
Hey guys, I think Adam is so cute! Whats the Rocky Horror?
Worst Lineup yet.. should be an easy title win for goki…
I am all up for the ripping apart people at their own expense, but lets face it Jillian where would you be if it werent for freedom of speech and American Idol. Apparently there has got to be some type of guilty pleasure with you and American Idol or you would not sit and watch every week. I really think you like the show.
I loathe American Idol. I recap and live-blog it for the people. That’s how I roll.
Well then, you must be getting paid well to be forced to watch something that you “LOATHE”. I surely do not waste my time watching something I do not like, much less attempt a paycheck out of it. Thats how I roll.
Slideshow Bob :DDD !
LoL!! Henni wants to start an idol flame war!!
What I find interesting is that this is ‘We Hate Idol’, but here you are… watching it and even taking time out of your day to visit this site and comment on it.
I LOVE IDOL!
P.S. But, I do love to hate Simon’s rude comments. Still love Simon!
I am not here to start a “flame war”, I just think that if you hate something so much, why would you waste so much of your time watching? My opinion is that Jillian really does like the show or is so miserable with everything in her life that she has turned to idol to insult people to make herself feel better.
To Picodegiao’s comment on Feb 25th, I really took offense to the “bartendar trash and will not amount to anything” comment. I myself am a bartendar and have been doing it for a long time. It pays the bills and my schedule is flexible to do things with my child. The next time you make a rude, judgemental comment, walk in those persons shoes first – then talk.
How long did it take you to write this blog.