FIRST LOOK: American Idol Season 8 Starts Tonight

American Idol is back tonight, so get ready for more judges (Kara DioGuardi), more semifinalists (36 instead of 24), more behind-the-scenes “inspirational” stories, and MORE OF THE SAME CRAP. Ratings were down 7% last year, so producers brought in Kara DioGuardi in a desperate attempt to mix things up. But if the edgiest clip (see below) is of her asking a contestant if she’ll “spank Simon,” Fox is in trouble and we’re all in for a snoozefest.

Kara DioGuardi’s advice to singers? “Be you.” BE YOU? That’s not advice, that’s a rejected Nike slogan.

American Idol (Season 8) starts tonight at 8pm on FOX. Check out the episode, then come back to WE HATE IDOL to read our thoughts. At least one thing hasn’t changed… the fat chicks still love Simon!